


Llorar

by Andimpink



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Fluff, Cliffhanger, Consensual Sex, F/M, Gentle Sex, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, I Killed My Emotions, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loss of Virginity, No Tentacle Sex, Oral Sex, Plot Twists, Porn with Feelings, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Reader's First Time, Reader-Insert, Smut, Ten Years Later, Tentacles, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tragic Romance, Two Shot, Vaginal Sex, Why Did I Write This?, lots of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andimpink/pseuds/Andimpink
Summary: Gabriel Reyes had been your entire world. Ten years after losing him, you are still grieving and can't help but look back on the relationship you had with him. Reaper/Reader





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I present to you this work, which I have labored over for weeks now. I decided to stay up into the wee hours of the night to finish it and get it posted. Enjoy!

        10 years did nothing to help the grief you felt. Kneeling down to wipe the recently fallen snow away from his headstone, you sat the single red rose upon the granite with his name etched perfectly across the top. Even with the sun shining down and it being a beautiful day, you couldn’t feel anything but the frigid winter air. You let the cold seep in, hoping it would numb the pain you felt.. Nothing, however, could fill the void in your heart and you wished things would have ended different. That he was still alive so you didn’t have to be in this place.

        Gabriel Reyes had been your entire world. The two of you had known each other since you were in high school. After graduation, the two of you stayed in contact as much as you could with your adult responsibilities. You were just friends, but it was clear that there was something more to your friendship. Gabriel had eventually joined the military and you supported him as much as you could. Many letters were sent between the two of you during his enlistment. Every holiday and birthday were punctuated with gifts. It was years before the two of you managed to meet up face to face since he had left for the military.

        You weren’t sure what to expect as you waited for him in the airport just a few days shy of Christmas. Sitting still was out of the question, but you felt that standing or moving around was out of the question as well. Your nerves were on edge and the number of people in the airport were doing nothing to help. Pulling out your phone, you started to scroll through your social media hoping it would get your mind off of things. You tucked your phone away a few moments later when it didn’t. As your eyes lifted from where you put your cell, you saw him. He was pushing through the crowd of people waiting to grab their luggage at the conveyor. With ease, he lifted it up onto his shoulder and you wondered what else he could lift like that.

        When he turned around and caught your gaze, the brightest smile lit up his face. It warmed your heart to see him just as you remembered him. Although, he definitely wasn’t as built before he left. The military life had been more than kind to him. The two of you made your way through the throngs of people until you were standing toe to toe. You threw your arms around his middle as soon as he had sat down his luggage, his own arms embracing you firmly in return. Lifting your head, you looked up into those beautiful brown eyes of his with happy tears forming in your own (e/c) ones.

        “I missed you, Gabe.” you admitted. One of Gabriel’s hands came up to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping a tear that had escaped your eye. “I’m glad you’re home.”

        “Cariña,” Gabe leaned down, his lips capturing yours briefly. When he pulled back, your head was spinning. That had come out of nowhere, not that you hadn’t wanted it or something of the sort. It was unexpected, but pleasantly so. You still couldn’t believe he was there with you and not thousands of miles away. “It is good to be home.” He reached for your hand, entwining your fingers. “Why don’t we get out of here?” You nodded and he led the way, clearing the way for the two of you. It wasn’t until you reached your car that his hand left yours.

        That Christmas was the best you could remember. There were many great ones prior, but the time you had with Gabe was priceless. It truly was a treasure getting to do even the simplest of things with him. Talking, walking, doing dishes, and so much more. Christmas morning was perhaps the best. You rolled out of bed early and walked out to your living room, the lights on the Christmas tree casting brightly colored light on the plain white walls. Still wrapped in a blanket, you walked over and sat yourself down on the couch. Gabe was still asleep in his room and you planned on being patient to touch the beautifully wrapped presents. That was until you noticed it was snowing outside. Keeping your blanket around your shoulders, you walked briskly to Gabriel’s room. The door was thankfully silent as you pushed it open and entered to go wake the sleepyhead.

        “Gabe.” you whispered, poking at his shoulder beneath the quilt over him. “Gabriel, it’s snowing.” He rolled over with a grumble and you laughed. It was nice getting to see him so relaxed. Even with him being away from his military life, it was clear that he had a hard time being at ease. He wasn’t getting up so you threw a leg up onto the bed and climbed in next to him. Your arm came to rest over his stomach and you cuddled up behind him. “Merry Christmas, Gabe.”

        “Merry Christmas, (y/n).” he responded. He lifted his head and turned it to look at you, a smug look on his face. He had been awake that whole time and you had fallen for it. The man was used to rising early, even earlier than this. There was no way he was getting away with fooling you. Returning the smug expression, you quickly tore the quilt off of him, rolling over the edge of the bed and running for the living room with it in hand. A string of Spanish curses left his lips and you giggled with delight when you heard him coming after you. You wrapped it around you tightly on the couch and watched as he stomped into the room, his eyes finding you immediately. “I retract my holiday greeting.” he said, joining you on the couch. He pried the quilt out of your grasp, and then settled it over the two of you together. “Be glad I’m not taking away the gifts I got you.”

        For the next twenty minutes or so, the two of you took turns opening presents and commenting on them. You had gotten Gabe, and yourself, matching Christmas sweaters which you immediately donned. They were nothing flashy, something both of you would likely where again when the holiday season rolled around next year. As you opened the rest of your gifts, you wondered if he would join you again next year. The grim thought of something happening to him couldn't help but make itself known. Gabe was out protecting the country and while he could be doing something somewhere safe, you knew he'd do his best where he could even if that meant he was in the midst of danger. You were glad that he even had this time to spend with you.

        The two of you were so happy and when his visit was drawing to a close, you wished with all your heart that he didn’t have to go. It seemed the two of you were on the cusp of having a definition to where your relationship stood. Over the course of his visit, Gabriel seemed much more physical with you than he had prior to him leaving for basic training. Not to mention the chaste kisses and loving touches. Nothing that really screamed commitment, but it was on your mind the whole time. The night before Gabe left, your brought these thoughts to his attention over dinner.

        “Where do we stand, Gabriel?” you asked. Gabriel froze, the fork in his hand full of leftover Christmas dinner mashed potatoes your parents sent home with you. Your took a deep breath and continued. “Because I don't want to go on not knowing. These past few days have been amazing and I could be getting all the signs mixed up that…” Gabe had sat down his fork and stood up from his chair. Your eyes followed him as he walked slowly around the table towards you. Regretting saying anything, you knew you couldn’t back out now. With a deep sigh, you continued. “Is there something here? I need to know, Gabe. Who knows if we’ll even get to do this again.”

         Gabe now stood before you, gazing down at you with hungry eyes. You gulped nervously, already having your nerves worked up with starting that conversation He rested a hand on the back of your chair, leaning down to hover over you. His eyes searched yours and you wished you had the strength to look away. You lost yourself so many times in those beautiful eyes of his. Now, you wanted to escape them and couldn’t. His other hand came up to cup your chin and he leaned in the rest of the way, kissing you deeply. A groan escaped your throat as he slipped his tongue past your lips. If you could have melted in your chair, you would have. Gabe pulled back and rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

        “Damnit, (y/n).” he said softly. “I love you. I love you so much.” Your heart skipped a beat with at his confession.

        “Gabe, I…” you started, but he put a finger to your lips to silence you.

        “Don’t say it.” You looked at him in confusion. “(Y/n), I can’t leave you here without knowing if I’d make it back. It’s messy out there and I’ve seen so many good soldiers die. Soldiers with lovers and families that could only hope they made it out alright.” You could see the realness of Gabe’s warning on his face. The saddened look on his face made your heart ache. “I can’t do that to you. I just can’t.”

        Reaching your hands up, you gripped his shirt collar tightly in your hands. He didn’t react and you pushed your chair out from under you, landing on your feet. Pushing against the wall of a man, you managed to back him into the table. “Gabriel Reyes,” you said roughly, shaking his shoulders. “You listen to me. I’d wait a thousand years for you if it meant we could be together. You can’t expect me to settle for anything less. It’s you I want.” Your words seemed to catch him off guard. In all honesty, you were surprised by your outburst as well. With your hands full of his shirt and his undivided attention, you slammed your lips to his. This time, it was Gabe who groaned and it made you smile against his mouth. You poured your heart and soul into the kiss, praying you could get through to him. When you pulled back to gasp for air, you looked him in the eyes. “I love you, Gabe.” you panted. “And you cannot tell me to lock that up inside me. You are the only one I’ll love. Ever.”

        That evening was one you’d never forget. After throwing it in his face that you loved him and wouldn’t be pushed away by him, he gave in. The tension had been mounting since he had arrived. It was only a matter of time and action that led the two of you to where you were that night. Your dinner was thrown from the table and you quickly found yourself laying atop the cool polished wood, Gabe laying atop you as he tasted your lips as if they were his last meal. Your hands pulled him close to you, as if you planned on holding him there forever. He kissed down your neck and buried his face where your neck met your shoulder, sucking the soft skin gently. Fire had erupted in your belly and you gasped as his action only served to fan the flames.

         Your hands reached down to the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards until he had to stop to take it off. The newly exposed skin was impossible not to explore. The muscled plane of his back and his ripped chest and abs. Even his rippling biceps could not help but find themselves embraced by hour gentle hands. Eventually, your hands came to rest at the back of his neck, entwining with the soft black curls there. “Gabe, you’re beautiful.” you breathed aloud. That whole time, he had been marking your neck with love bites and sending you deeper into arousal. He kissed your lips briefly and then you felt his hands against your stomach beneath your shirt. “Please.” was all you had to say for him to quickly grip the fabric and tear it off you.

         “If I’m beautiful,” Gabe said, one hand lifting your lower back and the other quickly unclasping your bra. “Then you’re exquisite.” When the last hook popped from it’s eye, you felt your insides clench. Gabe pulled the article of clothing away and the cool air of the dining room against your exposed chest made you hiss with pleasure. His warm hands ran up your sides to cup your breasts, squeezing them and lavishing with his attention. You gasped and writhed beneath him, whining loudly as his mouth captured one of your hardened nipples. He nibbled gently and did not forget to do the same to the other immediately after that one. Your hands had wandered down from his neck and now rested on his abdomen, just shy of the hem of those deliciously low-slung jeans. You moved to unclasp them, but Gabe pulled your hands together with one up to the middle of his chest. “Not here, cariña.” he growled.

        The man lifted you with ease from where you had been laying on the table. You were pressed tightly against his warm chest as he made his way out of the dining room and through the living room. The ear that was pressed against his chest could hear his heart hammering within it. You were sure if he pressed his ear to your breast, he would hear the same speedy thumping. This was not how you expected things to go, but it was wonderful regardless. Gabe pushed open your bedroom door with one foot and quickly sat you down on your bed. He kneeled at the foot, his hands capturing your calves and massaging them. “Are you sure about this, (y/n)?” he asked, his hands slowly working their way up your legs. His thumbs pressed against the inside of your thighs just above your knees, the pressure resounding up to the middle of the junction between them and your body.

        “Yes.” you whined, the ache between your legs needing to be relieved. “God, yes.”

        Gabe worked your pants down your hips, along with your panties, and threw them carelessly over his shoulder. Your eyes looked to his face with your sex now completely bare to his eyes. A shiver ran up and down your spine at the absolute hunger in his eyes. Your eyes were drawn to his lips when he passed his tongue over them, sending another set of pleasant tingles straight to your core. His hands spread your legs open further then ran up to hold your thighs there, his thumbs so close to your dripping slit. You felt his breath against your outer lips, hotter than they already felt. Your hands reached down to pull his head just the few inches forward to give you the contact you needed. White-hot pleasure burned inside you as he began feasting upon your throbbing opening. His tongue darted in and out of you, that little friction doing wonders. Your hips bucked up and against his face, his nose just barely rubbing your aching clit. He worked rhythmically between your legs, the slightest movements tightening the knot in your belly.

        You were getting close when he pulled back, gasping for air and his lower face covered with your slick. He pushed himself off the ground and you watched hungrily as he undid his jeans. You watched, mesmerized as they slid down his thick and muscled things to reveal a pair of black boxer briefs. The notable bulge in said underwear made your eyes widen. He motioned you forward with a curling finger and you slowly sat up. Gabe walked forward and you let him guide your hands to the elastic hem of his underwear. “If this is what you want, (y/n),” Gabe slipped your fingers beneath the band with his. You could feel the heat radiating up from between his legs and it only made you wetter. “Then I will make the most of it. For both of us.” You both tugged the boxer briefs down and his hard member sprang free.

        Try as you may, you couldn’t draw your gaze away from him. A lump had formed in your throat and you now found yourself a little tentative to continue. Gabe stepped out of his underwear and when he looked back up, he noticed your frozen stare between his thighs. “(Y/n)? (Y/n)?” Gabe’s voice broke through your stupor and you saw him looking down at you with concern.  _ Shit, _ you thought. Gabe reached for one of your hands and squeezed it in a comforting manner. “Do you want to go through with this?”

        You didn’t know how to answer. This was as far as you had ever gotten. Ever. And now you were second guessing your initial decision. Would Gabe hate you for backing out now? You didn’t want to, but you were so afraid of what would happen if you continued. “I…” you stammered. “Gabe…”

        Gabe hushed you, leaning down and kissing you softly. “It is up to you.” he explained. “Whatever you want is what we’ll go with, okay? There is no need to commit to this now if you aren’t comfortable.”

        “I want to.” you responded. “I want  _ you _ .”

        “What do you want me to do then?” Gabe asked.

        You thought for a moment before answering. “Walk me through it.” It sounded stupid aloud and you regretted even saying it. “I… I’ve never gotten this far before.”

        And walking you through it is what Gabe did. He proceeded slowly, far slower than the pace you two had been before. He paused when you got that frightened look in your eyes, asking you to explain what you were feeling and why. The further you two got, the easier it came for you to not feel as frightened. He had backtracked and put off his own pleasure for yours, something you knew you’d always be thankful for. When at last you felt ready, he made sure you were comfortable on the bed and joined you, climbing over you. You looked into his eyes, hoping he saw just how much this meant to you. Between your legs, you could feel his cock resting against you and you shivered with pleasure. Gabe reached down and guided himself between your soaking lips, finding your opening but not moving any further. You gave him an encouraging nod and he sank into you slowly, until he had moved as far as he could.

Your hands wrapped around his neck and you pulled yourself against him. “Gabe.” you whispered to him, moaning when he shifted slightly. His neck muscles tensed at the sound of your voice. “Take me.” Without further disruption, he pulled his hips back and snapped them back to meet yours. This continued with an increasing rhythm, each thrust causing your toes to curl and a gasp of delight to pass your lips. That knot in your belly was curling ever tighter and you could feel it quivering the faster Gabe went. He fit you perfectly and seemed to hit your most sensitive spots with every thrust. Your eyes welled with tears as you felt your end drawing close. Gabe was now mercilessly driving into you, grunting and groaning as you clenched tighter around him. He had started speaking long strings of Spanish and that only served to drive you further to the edge. Your name passed his lips like a worship, like a desperate prayer. He deserved this. He deserved the love you had to give him and you could never deny him. Not after tonight. Not ever.

“Gabe,” you gasped, your hands finding new purchase on his shoulders. “I love you so much.” Your core tightened dangerously, right on the edge of release. With one last snap of his hips, Gabe took you over the edge and your vision went black for a brief moment. Your core spasmed and your legs trembled, the sudden release of all the pent up pleasure sending a cold bolt of lighting up your spine. Gabe continued moving until you felt him reach his own release, coating your insides with his seed. The man let out a loud groan, dropping to his forearms above you.

“Te quiero, (y/n).” he breathed against your collar bone, pressing a soft kiss there. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you…” His voice trailed off until it was just the two of you trying to catch your breaths. Gabe pulled out of you and the sudden emptiness drew a gasp from you. “Are you okay, (y/n)?” he asked, worried that he had hurt you.

“More than okay.” you responded, feeling the chill of the room start to creep back in. You shivered and pulled yourself closer to Gabe. “A little cold, though.” Gabe chuckled and moved from over you to the spot beside you on the bed. He kicked up the sheets and pulled them over the two of you, then pulled you against him. He radiated warmth unlike any person you knew. You turned so you could press your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat once again. “I love you, Gabe.” you said softly. “Thank you.”

“Love you too.” he replied, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The two of you soon drifted off to sleep, not worrying about what the morning meant for the time being.

Hot tears poured down your cheeks as you came back to the present. It had been a long time since you had thought of your first time with Gabe. There had been many more times for the handful of times he got to come back to see you. You spent years of your life counting the days until you could be back in his arms, waiting patiently for him. Each visit brought a happiness you didn’t have otherwise and it was likewise for you brave soldier.

Said soldier never missed a chance to see you. He came time and time again, back to see you and make every moment count. You noticed each time the new scars he brought with them. Each one received your careful and loving attention, thankful that they were nothing more than a reminder of his healed injuries. However, the more they appeared, the more you began to worry that Gabe was getting in over his head. That he was jumping into danger when he could find another way to get the job done and keep himself together so he could come back to you. You didn’t bring this up to him, knowing it would only cause issues in your relationship. So years came and went without you voicing your concern.

It wasn’t until well after Gabe had finished his time in the army and became a part of the UN’s Overwatch task force that things really started to take a turn for the worse. He no longer could visit as often and when he did, the new scars were always far worse than the last. There were days where you had to lock yourself in your bathroom to let out your pent up tears and frustration for Gabriel. You couldn’t face him otherwise. Sometimes it was months that you didn’t see him and other times it was closer to a year between his visits. It was destroying you to carry on like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to the man you loved so much.

It happened without warning. You had talked with Gabe the night before, planning his visit for Christmas. He said that he’d be bringing one of his agents with him, as a security measure. That was his way of telling you that things were looking bad for the UN’s treasured organization. On a few of his past visits, he had brought along a few of his agents. Some were distant while others made themselves at home with the two of you. They made it a bit more difficult for the two of you to practice intimacy, but Gabe made up with it with gifts. Chocolates, clothes, movies, and so on. He even left you handwritten notes, complete with doodled hearts and ‘XOXO’ written beneath his signature. In just a few weeks, you would get to hold him in your arms at last. It had been nearly half a year since you had seen him and you couldn’t wait for the day to arrive.

The next morning, you woke to someone knocking on your door. You had slept in and you wished you hadn’t so you could answer the door in something other than your pajamas-- one of Gabe’s black shirts that he had left behind a few years back. The knocking came again and you rushed out of your room, calling out that you were coming. You undid the locks and pulled open the door. Your eyes widened to see Agent McCree standing there. “Sorry to wake you, Miss (l/n).” the man said, his southern drawl sounding slightly off. He avoided lifting his head so you could see his face. The sudden thought that Gabe had made a surprise visit and his agent was a decoy came to you. He had done so once before and you could still recall the smug look on his face when he stepped into sight from next to the door. You grinned and pulled the door open further.

“Come on in.” you said with mirth. You leaned forward and looked outside, thinking you’d find your lover. He was nowhere to be found.

“He’s going to show up too, right?” you asked, with a coy smile. He didn’t answer and you immediately felt something was off. There was something you didn’t know and you had to figure it out. There was no reason for McCree to be here other than… You grabbed the lapels of McCree’s black coat, looking him in the eyes. His eyes were reddened and filled with tears. “Gabe’s going to get here any minute.” McCree said nothing. “Where is Gabe?”

“I am so sorry.” McCree whispered, his head dropping between his shoulders. He took deep breaths, as if gathering himself. His hold on you tightened and it finally hit you why he was here. Shoving the man away, you ran to your room and picked up your phone, dialing Gabe’s number from memory. It rang once and the monotone operator voice announced that the line was unavailable. You dialed again, rushing to the TV in the living room and flipping to the closest news channel. You got the same damned operator voice and threw your phone to the couch in frustration. Turning back to the TV, the headline scrolling at the bottom knocked the breath.

 

_ Switzerland Headquarters destroyed in freak accident. Strike Commander Morrison killed along with ex-Strike Commander G... _

 

“(Y/n),” McCree grabbed the remote from your hand and shut the television off. The damage was already done and you turned on him. “They sent me…”

“No.” you said, feeling your throat constrict with every breath. Tears began rolling down your cheeks. You hit his chest weakly. “Gabriel wasn’t there. He couldn’t have been.” McCree shook his head, not meeting your gaze. Gritting your teeth, you gripped at McCree’s coat collar again. “He. Was. Not. There. Tell me he wasn’t there.” The man’s silence sent you into sobs. You collapsed against him, his hold being the only thing that kept you standing.

“It’s going to be okay, darlin’” You didn’t believe him. Even when you stood with him at the service for Gabe, surrounded by his family that didn’t even know you existed. Not even when he came to check on you every couple of days, always bringing something warm to eat and your favorite chocolates. Absolutely not when he drove you to the hospital because the depression had become too much and you sought comfort in cutting your wrists. There was no way things were okay. A year passed, Jesse McCree’s constant presence a reminder that Gabe was gone. He was there when you bought a new house, across town from your old one. Jesse helped you move in. The man even set up a security system, something Gabe had meant to do at Christmas back at the old house. You were lost in your grief and nothing but time would lessen it.

But, as you had already noted, not even 10 years could take away your pain. Jesse had called this morning, asking if you were going to go to the cemetery. He asked if you would give ‘him’, meaning Gabriel, his regards. It was the least you could do. Jesse had left town four years ago, but he always made sure that you were taken care of no matter how far away he was. He told you that he couldn’t tell you why he left, but hoped that one day he could. You knew the man was good at heart. The support from him over the years was evident of that fact. Rumors that Overwatch was returning, separate from the UN, littered the news. You guessed that is what Jesse was up to, but didn’t bother confirming it. He promised he’d visit within the next year and told you to take care before hanging up.

The cemetery was empty and you were thankful for that. A few times a year, you found yourself coming here. There were a handful of times you cried over Gabe’s empty gravesite and some stranger came over to console you. It made you uncomfortable when it happened. They usually asked questions and you didn’t like that either, more so than them thinking they could comfort you. Feeling yourself begin to sink into that familiar, all-consuming, melancholy, you decided it best to leave while you had the chance. If you stayed, it would be hours until you would be able to drag yourself away.

Before you left, however, you retrieved the neatly folded letter from one of your pockets. Unfolding it, as you had done for the last 9 times, you read aloud:

“It still hurts as much as the moment I lost you. I hope that wherever you are, you know that I am still hopelessly in love with you. Before you, I was nothing. After you, I am empty and cold and bitter and alone.” Your tears fell heavier now. “Gabriel Reyes, my heart and soul are yours. They are broken and irreparable. But I hope that you see how hard I am fighting to keep myself together. You would have wanted that.” Taking a shaky breath, you wiped the wet tracks your tears left on your cheeks away. “I love you.” The next line read ‘Goodbye’, but you never read it as such. “Until next year.”

You started for your car, not even glancing back one last time. You folded up your letter and tucked it away again.The snow crunched beneath your feet and you wondered if it would stick around very long. You hoped it would. As you reached your car, you dug into your pocket for your keys and realized they weren’t there. You checked all your pockets and then looked into your car, hoping they hadn’t been locked inside. You couldn’t see them and you hoped that you had dropped them somewhere between here and Gabe’s headstone. Making your way back there, you followed your foot prints. Sure enough, when you got to where you had knelt down to wipe the snow away, you keys stuck up out of the snow. You picked them up, keeping them in your hand to be sure you wouldn’t lose them again. Turning back around, you looked to find your footsteps in the snow and froze. There were another set of larger footprints next to yours that hadn’t been there before. You put one of your feet on one to compare the size. Definitely not yours.

This set you on edge and you surveyed the cemetery, still empty as when you got here. There were no places nearby for someone to hide. Not to mention the fact that you would’ve heard someone walking in the snow. Clutching your keys tightly, you started forward towards your car. Only, you made it a few steps before you felt your ankle catch on something. Then your other ankle. Looking down, you saw two black tendril wrapped around your ankles. They were solid, keeping you in place, but seemed to be made of mist. What were they? You watched helplessly as they wound there way up to your calves, massaging them as they climbed up. That was a familiar sensation. Gabe would do that nearly every time he went down on you. It stirred awake a heat inside you that you hadn’t felt in 10 years. Panic set in and you reached for your cell phone in your pocket, pulling it out to call Jesse. You had just pressed the call button when a hand reached from behind you and snatched the cell phone away. The sound of metal and plastic crunching followed. “Hey!” you snapped. You couldn’t turn around to face whoever had just taken your phone. The hand came back into view, dropping the crushed remnants of your cell phone in front of you. Your lips shut tightly.

A dark chuckle shook you to your core, colder than the winter air. “Hola, cariña.” The gravelly voice was unfamiliar, but the pet name was not. No one would know that _he_ called you that. No one but Gabe. This wasn’t happening. Struggling to break free of the things around your legs, you prayed someone would drive by and come to your aid. Suddenly, your legs became weak, but the tendrils moved up to support you and keep you standing. A gloved hand caressed  your cheek in a loving manner, coming to cup your chin. Your head was jerked to the side, coming eye to eye with… Your heart dropped into your stomach. If you had the nerve to scream, you would have. You had watched the news enough to recognize the infamous mask of the Reaper. You wanted to look away, but the hand on your chin kept your there. You wanted to swing your fists at him, but even they had been constrained by the strange tendrils. Reaper tutted at you, tapping your cheek lightly with one finger. “I guess I should’ve done this before…” His mask started to melt away, dissolving into the same black mist that the tendrils were made of.

That did not shock you. Nothing could have shocked you more than the face behind the strangely conjured mask. Your mind reeled in disbelief and your heart swelled with mixed emotions. _He_ leaned forward, his horribly scarred face so close to yours. Even with his face so scarred, you knew it was him. Those deep eyes confirmed it. The way they were glued on yours. “I’ve been without you for too long, (y/n).” Gabriel Reyes stood before you, alive and well despite grieving him for ten years as of that day. “Ten years too long.” He reached into your pocket, pulling out the letter you had written in an attempt to find some way of coping all those years ago. You felt numb. Number than you ever had before. You watched, emotionless, as he tore the letter to shreds before pulling you against him. Those eyes locked with yours before your vision went black and you heard him whisper one last thing.

_“I will piece you back together, heart and soul. Even if it destroys me.”_


	2. Reunited

     Your eyes opened, but you were unable to see anything. It was pitch dark. Your temples throbbed and your throat was painfully dry, to go along with the loss of your sight. Sitting up on the somewhat cushioned spot you were on, you wrapped your arms around your knees to hug them to your chest. It was cold, wherever you were, and you were still processing what had just happened to you. You weren’t even sure if it had  _ just _ happened to you. It could have been hours or even days since Gabe… Your temples throbbed harder and you winced, the pain breaking you from your thoughts momentarily. It did not tear you away from the heart-wrenching fact that he was still alive.

     Ten years you had believed him gone. Ten years you had spent grieving. Ten years of wasted time, tears, and chances for something more for yourself. You felt angry, hurt, and deceived. You should have known better. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks as you let out a choked sob. You hated how much you had cared for him now. If he had truly cared for you, he would have come for you. That realization hit you harder than anything. He should have never come back if that was the case. This stupid stunt had hurt you more than him being dead did. Even with the disaster in Switzerland, he could have come back for you and taken you with him. You would have gone with him in a heartbeat. Hell, you would have done just about anything if it meant being with him. 

     “Ah, you’re awake.” His voice sent shivers down your spine. It was dark and gravelly,  like something straight out of a horror movie. It had startled you along with his sudden appearance. You couldn’t see and you wondered if perhaps you had actually gone blind. Reaching up to your eyes to make sure they were still there, your skin crawled as two hands pulled yours away from your face. “You’ve been crying, cariña. Aren’t you happy to see me?”

     “I can’t see.” you said, feeling weak with his hold on your wrists. All that anger had hidden itself the moment he made himself known. You wanted to take it out on him, but you were still processing this and still hoped that it was some crazy dream. You wouldn’t be able to tell until you could see, if you ever would again. Fear and the unknown had you in its choke hold, it’s solidified form holding your wrists tightly. Titling your head up to where you heard his heavy breathing, more tears fell. “Why can’t I see, Gabe?”

     Something cold slithered from around your eyes, the feeling of it causing you to feel nauseous. However, as it moved, you were now able to see. Gabe stood before you, the cryptic mask and iconic Reaper outfit gone, in a black t-shirt and sweats. His physique had not suffered with age, the sculpted muscles of his torso and arms seemed even more so now than the last time you had seen him. The sweats hid his lower half, but you guessed it was about the same amount of change as the rest of him. Your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn up to his face. There were so many scars and some were worse than others. You had noted the few visible ones on his arms as well. And yet, you knew it was him without a doubt.

     “How could you do this to me?” was the next thing you said. You barely managed to get it out, but you needed the answer. There was no emotion behind it but confusion and you couldn’t have brought yourself to do so otherwise. Gabe stood there as you closed the distance between you, your palms lying against his chest. The coldness of his body radiated off of him and you shivered, feeling how his chest rose and fall with each breath. “I loved you so damn much, Gabriel. Why didn’t you come back? I would have gone with you. Do you know how many nights I spent laying in bed unable to sleep because of how much I missed you?” Now the anger was letting itself show, your hands slowly balling his shirt up in them. “I spent every holiday feeling alone. I isolated myself. I wanted to die so badly and nearly did.” Gabe’s chest flinched at that last sentence. You pressed forward, red hot rage rearing its ugly head. “Damn you, Gabriel Reyes! We could have had a life together! You were my everything and I thought for ten fucking years you were gone. That’s ten too many!” 

     “(Y/n), I…”

     “You shut your mouth and listen to me!” you shouted, shaking him as hard as you could with his shirt. The satisfying sound of some of the seams popping met your ears and just urged you to continue. “Did you ever really love me?! All these years I have never questioned if you had loved me, Gabe. Not once! I could have moved on and I didn’t. There were times I thought about it.” Your hands were shaking, some of your anger resolving but not quite gone. “Jesse was there for me. I could have grown to love him, but I have only ever loved you. Just you. I don’t understand why…” Your grip loosened. Talking about Jesse had been a low blow. He hadn’t ever expressed interest in you. Just one time you had fancied the idea of pursuing him, but you were still so wrapped up in your grief that it wouldn’t have gotten anywhere. “Why did you leave me? I… I…” Your hands fell to your sides and you stumbled backwards, legs suddenly weak, into the wall. “I needed you, Gabe. I wanted everything with you.” Sobs wracked your body and you slid down the wall until you were sitting against it, your face buried in your hands as you cried. And cried. And cried.

     “I never wanted this.” Gabe said, his voice so different from the one you remembered. You listened still. “I… I was changed. From a man to this  _ thing _ , a mere shadow of who I was, (y/n). I was out of control and it was not safe for me to be near anyone. Especially you.” You looked up from your hands to see him sitting across from you in the middle of the room. He was looking down into his lap, his hands folded nervously in front of him. Wisps of the black smoke you had seen at the cemetery wafted off of him, curling and moving over his body. Gabe looked to you, his eyes full of sorrow. “I could have done more. I could have done so much more to have you back in my life. You would have been destroyed to see me reduced to this creature. I couldn’t do that to you. How I was then would have driven you to madness.” He sighed and his shoulders shook ever so slightly. “Did you really try…”

     Your heart clenched in your chest, guilt oozing into your mess of feelings. “Yes.” Gabe’s head dropped between his shoulders.

     “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he lamented, not quite crying but clearly upset. “You never should doubt how much I love you.” Your eyes met yet again and the piteous look on Gabe’s face was one you hoped you’d never see again. “You should have never tried to end such a precious thing as your life. If you died, I wouldn’t rest until you were back in my life. Even if it meant losing what little is left of mine.”

     Silence fell over the room, the two of you sitting there on the ground looking at each other or nothing at all. Your mind was so jumbled, your emotions spent, that you found it impossible to say anything more. The room you were in, finally taking a moment to notice it, was a small bedroom. The cot in the corner of the room was the only furniture. Even the walls were as boring as the furniture with their plain grey paint. Where was this room? It was too empty and you wondered if this was some cell at wherever Gabe stayed. You still couldn’t believe that he worked for a terrorist organization. The Gabe you knew would never have even considered working for such a cause. He was a good man through and through, yet now you weren’t sure that was even true.

     “So what now?” you questioned, at last. “What do you want with me?”

     Gabe stood and you watched from your spot against the wall. After blowing up like that, you felt more at ease. You still felt all those emotions and were still upset with Gabe. As you looked up at him, some of it dissipated. At least you were safe. That it hadn’t been some stranger who had taken you. “It is up to you. I can’t keep you here if all you want is to leave. Hell, I probably deserve it.” He crossed the floor between you until his toes were in front of yours, his eyes locking with yours as he lowered himself to the ground.. “If it were up to me, I’d want you to stay. I want you to stay.” A hungry look crossed Gabe’s face, like a man starved of human contact,  _ intimate _ human contact. It sent a shock straight to your core, the sudden arousal bringing a hot flush to your cheeks. A cold hand came up to rest against your cheek, making you shiver. “Most of all,” his voice rumbled. “ _ I want you, cariña. _ ”

     “Gabriel.” you said, breathing in sharply. “I… I can’t. Not here.” You swallowed the lump that had rose to your throat, looking into his eyes pleadingly. “It’s too soon. I’m still struggling to believe that this is real, that you’re real.” Gabe pulled his hand from your face and moved it all the way down to your calf, putting pressure on the muscle that echoed all the way up to the juncture between your legs. His other hand did the same to the other calf, some of your resolve melting. Your eyes shut tightly as you resisted every voice in your head that screamed at you to give in. “Gabriel, please don’t.” 

     “Cariña, I need you.” Gabe growled, his hands squeezing further up your lower leg to just below your knees. “Let me prove to you that I am real as I ever was.” His thumbs caressed the insides of your knees, the thinness of the fleece lined leggings you were wearing not able to protect you from the sensation they caused. Gabriel’s eyes burned hotly on your flushed and flustered face, only serving to further the arousal building in your body. “It is up to you.” You weren’t sure it was, not with the way you were responding to his… A moan slipped past your lips as he gripped your thighs, just shy of your fully clothed sex. You noted the sly smirk on his face at how his teasing was testing just how much you could resist his advances. It had not been the first time he had done this to you. Albeit, it had been a little over ten years since you had seen it. “Well? What will it be, (y/n)?”

     “Gabriel Reyes, you are a slimy, good-for-nothing…” He pressed his thumbs against your inner thighs causing your hips to buck and another heady moan to pass your lips. That was the last straw. Throwing yourself forward, you pushed him to the ground and sat atop his stomach, your legs on either side of him. You brought one of your hands down roughly yet soft on his chest, feeling the hit resound within. “Damn you, Gabe.” you hissed down at him, hating him even more for the look of triumph on his face. One of his hands cupped the back of your head and pulled it down to his and he kissed you deeply. Your hand on his chest tightened around his shirt, wanting nothing more than to tear it from him. The other came up to run through his hair, your fingertips grazing his scalp. This pulled a moan from Gabe and you smirked against his lips. When you pulled away, you leaned back and glared down at him. “So help me god, you better not be a figment of my imagination.”

     Gabe rolled the two of you over, the black wispy smoke appearing from his body and pinning your wrists by your head. “God couldn’t help you now, my dear.” He slid down your body, his fingers slipping beneath the waist of your leggings and your underwear. With practiced ease, he tugged the two down together all the way to your ankles. You slid your feet the rest of the way out and he captured your legs, holding them apart as he descended upon the skin of your inner thighs. His teeth nipped and licked playfully, your legs shuddering with excitement at what you knew was coming. A particularly violent shudder caused Gabe to growl in annoyance. Two more wispy black tentacles captured each of your legs, wrapping up to just above your knees. “I can’t have you struggling anymore, (y/n). It’s been far too long.” Gabriel didn’t give you a chance to say anything more than a gasp as his lips nuzzled their way between your folds.

You moaned and cried out in pleasure with every stroke of Gabe’s tongue against your heat, the gentle nips at your labia driving you mad. He found his way to your clit, rolling it around with his tongue. That drove you wild and you fought to break from the bounds he had put you in. The lewd sounds of your lover between your legs only served to further your arousal. You whined as he inserted a finger into you. God, even that was stretching you. He added a second and it nearly sent you over the edge. Before you could reach your climax, he withdrew his fingers and looked up from between your legs. “Gabriel, please.” you begged, panting like a dog in heat. You had never felt so aroused, never needed release as much as you did in this moment. He crawled his way back up to where you were face to face, the evidence of your wetness around his lips and caught on the stubble of his facial hair. “Damn it, Gabe. I need you. I want you. Please.”

     “As you wish, my love.” Gabe stood and the tentacles pulled you up with him, holding you in place. You watched with hunger as Gabe stripped down until he stood bare before you. The tentacles pulled you closer to him and he grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. The cool air hit your newly exposed skin and you shivered. This didn’t keep Gabe from unhooking your bra and letting it fall down your shoulders, the two of you now completely naked. He pressed up against you and you felt the need for him grow even stronger. “I love you, (y/n).” You hadn’t noticed how he had been backing up to the wall until your back hit it. You were pinned against it and hovering a foot from the ground with the use of his black smoke. “Are you ready?”

     “Yes.” you said without pause. Gabe reached down and guided himself to your entrance, pushing into you slowly. Your eyes shut tightly and hot pleasure shot through your whole body to your core. You were stretched and all your body seemed to want to do was squeeze around Gabe. Even the slightest adjustment he made brought you closer to the edge. “Gabriel…” you whined, toes curling and your legs shaking. You were still so sensitive from his teasing and you wondered how much more you could take. This was nothing like the other times you had been with Gabe. Did ten years really make such a difference? He pulled back and pushed right back in, drawing a cry from you. You couldn’t form words as he repeated the motion, falling into a rhythm. Even when you felt like you were going to lose it, your body seemed to hold itself back. It was driving you mad, but you wanted this more than you had thought you would. Everything else faded away, all the anger and feelings of betrayal were nothing compared to how you felt then.

     Now you were getting close, your walls starting to pulse and contract. Gabe groaned, his pace picking up and each thrust slapped deliciously against your pelvis. As you finally tipped over the edge, Gabe followed right behind you. The tentacles around your wrists and ankles disappeared, allowing Gabe to catch you and hold you to him as the two of you climaxed. Your hands gripped at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Tears welled up in your eyes at the intensity of the moment, allowing yourself to bury your face in Gabriel’s chest. “I love you, Gabriel. I love you so much.”

     “You too, cariña.” he whispered back to you, pressing kisses to your forehead and down to your temple. “I’m so sorry for what I put you through. This could never makeup for it, but I’m going to spent whatever time I have left, however much time you want to give me, trying to.” Your body relaxed, but you were too weak to even move anything more than your head. Gabriel, on the other hand, seemed to be mostly unaffected. He helped you over to the small bed and laid you down there. You wondered if he was going to leave, but he scooted you over and joined you. You laughed at how he barely fit on the small cot, even smaller with two people on it. “Stay with me, (y/n).”

     “Only if you get a bigger bed.” you teased, bringing a warm smile to your lover’s face. He cupped your cheek and kissed you softly. You had missed him so much. You would stay with him even if it meant sleeping here on this cot with him. When he pulled back, you reached a hand for his and entwined your fingers with his. “Thank you for coming back for me.”

     “Thank you for waiting.” Gabe responded, pulling you tighter to him. Your ear pressed against his chest above his heart, hearing that familiar sound of it beating. You knew as you drifted off to it’s rhythm that, when you woke, he would still be here. You knew that the last ten years had been worth waiting for. Above all, you knew how much you loved Gabe and that you would until the day you died.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the story is one from a song I was inspired to write this by. For anyone curious, it is Llorar by Jesse y Joy. Beautiful song with such a powerful meaning.


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